i hate study loans

takin the study loan was the shittiest decision i'd ever made..

lookin back..... just because my family member promised me to pay all my uni fees and just weeks before my 1st semester started, he pulled out.. if you cannot keep your promise then don't farking promise me moon and stars in the 1st place.. if you cannot pay for my uni fees, why you still convince me to go to uni? i can stick to college and earn my degrees without paying so much money.. you better tell me straight from the start that you were so pathetic that you cannot even afford to pay my uni fees.. why on earth i chose IT path for the sake of my parents and endin up payin everythin myself? if i knew this from the start, i would rather choose courses that i fond of..why life is so unfair where as all my siblings get the best education planned ahead for them?

i hate being the youngest in the family.. i hate being in a complicated family.. i hate being the powerless one.. i hate that my own papa did not defend me when you did this to me.. i hate it when i need to pretend that i'm fine in front of you just for the sake of making my papa happy.. i hate it when you left me no choice.. i hate the fact that you are so rich but you could not afford to pay for your own sister's education

why you happened to be my own brother?